Call Me, Maybe Not

Amara

Welcome everyone to Respectfully…nah. We are going to talk about communication and all the ways it's being done today. My name is Amara

Mina

With me, Mina. And you know this is a subject that is dear to me. Why? Because it's so many ways to do it and everyone thinks their way is best!!

Amara

You are so right Mina! So today we're talking about something that's honestly everywhere on my feed lately—this weird war between phone calls and texting. Have you noticed, Mina, how it's become almost like generational beef? Boomers, my dad included, they're all about the phone call. Like, if you don't call on a Sunday, it's like you’ve committed treason or something.

Mina

Honestly, yes, it’s like some sort of silent test! My grandma will deadass call me three times in a row, and if I text back instead of picking up, she basically acts like I screamed in her face—“Why you ignoring your elders!” I mean, even on TikTok, it's all just this endless debate. People doing skits about pretending to be dead so they don’t have to answer the phone, or like, instead of “slide into my DMs,” it's “just call me”—as if!

Amara

Literally! And the comments on those videos get wild. People from my dad's generation really see calls as, like, proper respect. It’s almost like an important ritual, you know? Meanwhile, most of my friends are like, “If you’re calling, it better be an emergency or, I dunno, you’re about to win the lottery.”

Mina

Exactly. It’s that whole thing—do you actually care about connecting, or do you just want to catch me off guard? Like, I get the care side, but sometimes it feels more like, I dunno, control? Like, why you need to hear my voice to prove I love you, Dad? The whole thing’s viral because, well, we’re all trying to figure out the rules as we go.

Mina

I gotta admit, texting just feels safer. I saw this tweet the other day—wait, let me remember it—“avoiding phone calls is my form of self-care.” And honestly, that’s me. I need that little buffer, the time to look at a message, maybe overthink it for five minutes, then answer.

Amara

For real. There’s like, real pressure when you’re on a call, ‘cause you gotta have your reaction in real-time, can’t mute your feelings or stop to breathe. I dunno, Mina, is it lazy or is it just, like, adapting to a world where everything’s already too much? I'd rather answer a WhatsApp when I get off work than be ambushed at 8AM on a Saturday.

Mina

And now in the workplace, too, there’s this whole vibe—Slack, Teams, whatever. Some manager will say, “Let’s hop on a quick call!” and suddenly my chest gets tight. I really think texting—and by texting I mean anything with a text box, DMs, whatever—lets people, especially us, kinda choose how much energy we wanna give. It’s boundaries, ya know?

Amara

Exactly! It’s not about being rude. If anything, it’s about managing emotional labor. Like, my brain can only do so many “quick chats.” But then my dad, he thinks if I’m not calling, I’m disrespectful. Context gets lost—I wish old-school folks got that it’s not about them, it’s about me needing space sometimes.

Mina

I mean, boundaries aren’t new, though. We’ve just got better tools to enforce them now. Some people still act like if you don’t jump to answer a call, you’re failing at adulting. But for me, if I text first, it’s literally because I respect you enough to not hit you with a random “can you talk?”

Amara

And it’s not just, you know, a personal thing. This whole etiquette is shifting everywhere—like, group chats for the fam, work stuff, even just friends wanting to vent. I’ve had people get offended when I dodge their call, but honestly, try getting thirty people on a work call all at once! In crisis logistics, sometimes I have zero choice—calls are non-stop. But in my regular life, I’ll ghost calls for days if my energy’s tapped out.

Mina

I respect that! And honestly, family group chats are wild. Sometimes I see “call me when you see this,” and it’s instant anxiety. Like, can’t you just tell me in a message? It’s so awkward, especially with relatives who never text unless it’s a guilt-trip. But you’re right, Amara, at work everyone’s low-key pretending to be too busy for a call, even when we all know half of us are just avoiding direct talk.

Amara

Like, the unscheduled call should be illegal. Text me first, or at least throw a calendar invite! Is there etiquette now for calling people, or is it just chaos? My mates laugh that I’ll drop everything for a call in a crisis zone but let my phone ring out at home. It does make you think—maybe we’re not anti-calling, just more intentional with when we want to actually talk.

Mina

Yeah, it’s like the expectation’s changed. We’re more about “text first, call later”—if you don’t, you risk someone thinking you’re unhinged. But for old heads, a phone call’s still the gold standard for caring. I guess we just use all these new rules to dodge old guilt.

Mina

Okay, but have you clocked how now there’s, like, voice notes, video messages, even AI bots ghostwriting half our love lives? No one just calls out of the blue, it’s all—“let me send a minute-long rant to the group chat,” or “here’s my response in a video—ignore my hair.” It’s honestly funny, but it makes me wonder if we’re just inventing new ways to have the same old conversations, just… on our own terms.

Amara

For sure! Feels like we’re going more asynchronous, innit? Everyone picks up what they need when they’ve got the headspace. It’s not about ditching real talk, but being, I dunno, more selective? Technology’s pushing us to communicate wider, not just deeper. Sometimes voice notes are perfect because I want you to hear my tone but still let you listen whenever you’re ready.

Mina

I’m with you—each tool has its vibe. I use text for low-stakes stuff, video for “you gotta see my face for this,” and calls for the real or urgent. I think it’s less about what’s right, more about what fits the moment. So if you’re listening? Pick what feels true to you. Set your boundaries. And don’t let anyone tell you you gotta answer every call, unless it’s your nan—then maybe, do what you gotta do.

Amara

That’s it. Communication’s not dying, it’s just… evolving. So next time someone calls, don’t feel guilty for texting back instead. And if you actually want a catch-up—give them a heads up!

Mina

Alright, that’s our episode for today! Amara, always a pleasure chatting even if we barely call each other outside work, let’s be honest.

Amara

Facts. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Respectfully…nah, you don’t have to pick up every call. See you next time, Mina, and everyone listening!

Mina

Bye y’all! Text us your thoughts—don’t call. Alright, later!